Why I Started Silk Somatics

Not a lot of people know this, but I used to be an exotic dancer in East STL for six years. It was my first foray into working with my sensuality professionally. Originally, I wanted to be a burlesque dancer, but exotic dancing had a lower bar to entry, so it’s what I went with.

I immediately took to the movement aspect of the practice. There was a somatic expression of sensuality that I really connected with. I actually ended up being really good at pole dancing and even placed 2nd in the Pole Princess competition in 2016.

On an even more interesting note, I was taught much of what I know by a now very well-known adult performer, Kira Noir. She was such a sweetheart, and we were all amazed when she said she was moving to California to pursue adult entertainment. Shout out to her—it's good to see she’s doing great.

Dance taught me the freedom of movement and how to express my sensuality. But after the novelty wore off, I started bristling at the carnality of it. I didn’t enjoy the crass way I was treated, or how I was touched. And I had long tired of the performative aspects of connection.

I didn’t want to be a flirty airhead—a trope that was very effective in bringing in money. I had the problem of attracting people who wanted long conversations and meaningful connections, but nobody wanted to buy a dance. Great for my self-esteem, terrible for my pockets.

I began looking for an exit. But I wasn’t cut out for regular jobs. Partly because I’m bipolar and that can be debilitating. But also because I needed something meaningful and intentional. My spirit demands authenticity. A traditional job would feel misaligned—like wearing clothes that don’t fit.
Eventually, I found a local sensual massage studio and took up employment. At first, I was excited to be in a space where my nurturing nature could flow and I didn’t have to perform a caricature of connection.

But that optimism quickly soured. I wasn’t valued as a practitioner, often facing passive-aggressive behavior or outright hostility. I also didn’t like how clients were treated. Cancellations were punished under threat of professional exile, and scheduling was chaotic.

At the same time, I was diving into Tantra and discovered Urban Tantra by Barbara Carellas. I ended up attending her Urban Tantra Professional Training Program in New York. The experience was enlightening.

The space was intentional and informative. I met people who communicated in ways that softened something in me. They said what they meant, held space for silence, and asked more questions than they answered. It felt sacred.

I came back transformed. After a particularly stressful altercation with my employer, I decided to leave. The studio couldn’t support the integrity I needed. Sessions were rushed, boundaries were crossed, and there was little support from management.

It was a difficult and scary decision. Would clients find me? Would I be able to support myself through this transition?

I decided the only way to find out was to pour all my energy into building what you now know as Silk Somatics.

I wanted my brand to be warm and inviting, clear in its messaging and seamless in its scheduling.

I redesigned everything I had experienced—from outdated systems to exploitative dynamics—and rebuilt them with streamlined, client-centered tools.

Slowly but surely, I became more connected to my work. I devoured books, articles, and courses to fine-tune my practice. I met incredible, resilient people and shared moments of true, authentic sensuality.

I thrive when I’m of service to others and aligned with what matters most to me.

All that to say, I’m deeply grateful for the path I’ve walked and the people I’ve met. The adversity taught me how to honor myself while supporting others. Silk Somatics is a living, breathing reflection of what I believe the world needs more of: intimacy, embodied presence, creativity, and deep care.