How to Maximize Your Tantric Massage Experience
Tantric massage is a form of sensual energy-based wellness that can be incredibly rewarding.
It's also one of the most powerful tools for mind-body connection, allowing you to move beyond the physical act and experience true intimacy with yourself and your partner. I've had many sessions over the years, but even as a trained Tantra practitioner myself, there are still things that I'm surprised by each time I enter into a new session. If you're new to Tantric massage, preparation is essential so you can set yourself up for success from the start. Here are some tips for maximizing your time on the table:
Set your intentions.
Setting your intentions should be a process that happens well before your actual session begins. It's not something that can be done 10 seconds prior as part of a pre-session checklist (although some people do use exactly this approach). A good place to start is by taking some time alone or with a friend or therapist outside of any sexual context and reflecting on what brings meaning into your life, what limiting beliefs and triggers you want to overcome, and what feels most important about your erotic experience. What do you hope to get out of this session? What are the goals that are important to you, and how much time can the session realistically accommodate? It’s important to consider these factors and bring them up before the session starts so it doesn't feel like an interruption mid-way through.
Find the right practitioner.
When choosing a Tantric practitioner, there are several factors to consider.
Choose a practitioner who is trained and certified. Look for someone who has been studying for at least one year and has taken the time to earn their certification in Tantric massage (or other related practices). You don't want to trust your first experience with this type of healing work to anyone who doesn't have the proper training—not only will you likely suffer from unnecessarily long healing sessions, but you also run the risk of being taken advantage of by someone who isn't qualified. It's important that they are at least well-educated or well-read on this mode of healing before performing on any clientele because it shows respect both ways: respect for themselves as well as respect for those they serve.
Look for someone open-minded enough to discuss concerns or questions about what they do with their clients beforehand rather than after they've already begun working with them. The experience can be very surprising, however, their procedures should not be.
Be wary if your therapist seems disinterested in what boundaries exist between you—respect your own body! If nothing else, make sure that they respect yours enough not to push past these boundaries unless given explicit instructions otherwise.
Discuss boundaries and receive consent.
One of the most important things in preparing for a tantric session is discussing what you want and need with your practitioner. This can be as simple as sharing any physical limitations, injuries, or discomfort you wish to avoid. You may also want to share with your practitioner any boundaries that are important to you, including physical contact (e.g., no touching of the feet), language use (e.g., only positive affirmations), and consent (e.g., if one person wants more intimacy than the other). Consent is essential! A good way to ensure that someone has granted consent is by asking them before beginning a specific activity: “Would you like me to give you a massage?” or “Do you want more time holding hands?”
If at any point during a tantric session either party feels uncomfortable due to an action being taken, it should be addressed immediately so it doesn't escalate into something more serious later on in the experience or after it ends.
Prepare your body for deeper pleasure and sensation.
Taking a shower or bath before you arrive will help you feel clean, fresh, and relaxed. Here at Silk Sacred Touch Therapy, we offer complimentary showers, toiletries, and freshly laundered towels for your use. Be sure to use unscented soap and shampoo, as some scents can be irritating to sensitive areas of the body, and to the nose (especially if they’re not natural).
Try light exercise beforehand. As we exercise our bodies, our muscles become stronger and more flexible which allows us to experience greater pleasure due to increased circulation. If you want to connect deeply with yourself on a physical level now is a great time to start an exercise routine or work on one that already exists! This can also help relax any tension that may have built up during the day so that when you meet your practitioner, you can approach the session at ease!
Let go of expectations.
When you seek tantric healing, it's important to remember that expectations are a barrier to experiencing the present moment.
For example, when your practitioner is taking their time building the energy and exploring your body if your mind wanders into thinking about what will happen next, then that becomes an expectation and it takes away from the now.
It can be helpful to think about them as intentions rather than expectations: "I intend for this to be a deeply healing experience” vs." I expect for this to be a deeply healing experience.”
Be present for your own experience.
As you begin your tantric session, it's important to stay present and take care of yourself. It can be tempting to try too hard; as a result, we often focus on our practitioner’s experience instead of our own. This is not about trying harder—it’s about slowing down and focusing on one thing at a time. Don't worry about how your body looks; instead, keep your mind engaged by focusing on your breathing or any other technique that helps you relax and practice mindfulness.
You can ask to adjust the temperature of the room so it feels more or if there are any distractions in the room (music playing loudly or someone else nearby), speak up now so they can be removed before beginning the process.
If this is all new territory for you then slow down even more! You want each movement made during a tantric session to feel intentional rather than rushed through because "time is ticking away."
Listen to your practitioner.
You should strive to listen to your practitioner, as he or she is the one guiding you through this experience. But it's important to remember that they're not there to tell you what to do, but rather help facilitate whatever it is that your body and mind are seeking out from their loving touch. They are there for you and want nothing more than for both of you to receive pleasure from one another in whatever way feels right at the moment.
The best way for this practice to be truly effective is if both parties are open-minded about what may happen during these sessions and how it may feel or look different than other experiences they've had before (and don't worry—it will). There is no right or wrong way when it comes down to these things! Feel free to say "no," or "yes" or even just sit back and observe what happens next without saying anything at all.
Review your session, and ask questions.
The best way to make a session even better is by reviewing it. Ask yourself: What was the best part of your session? Did you experience any emotional discomfort or physical discomfort? Did you want to do anything differently next time?
Practice after-care.
Take care of your body. After a session, it's important to make sure that you're taking care of your body. This can include getting plenty of sleep and eating nutritious food in order to help the energy flow throughout your body and mind.
Stay connected with yourself. It's easy for the mind to wander after an intense tantric experience, but it's important to stay connected with yourself throughout the process, and the days and weeks following by staying grounded and aware of what emotional and physical.
Try some meditation or journaling: A great way to get back into balance after a session is through meditation or journaling about your experiences! Meditation helps bring clarity back into our lives while journaling allows us space for processing thoughts and emotions privately. There we can be radically honest with ourselves and our lived experiences.
And that’s it! We hope this guide has been helpful in preparing you for your upcoming tantric session. Remember to set your intentions, find a practitioner you trust, and be open to the experience. You’re about to embark on an amazing journey of learning about your body and its potential for pleasure, so we wish you all the best!